Ready or Not.....

Well me old chaps...this is it....Byjingo another couple of days of food, wine and beer..... turkey, pork, beef, game....... byjingo!!! pickle ... pie ... sweets... cream ... crackers ..... nuts.......food food food....
and the rate people are running about the shops spend spend spend.....all for what??????? two bloody days!!!!!!!!!!!
OK so its GeZus birthday but not many are celebrating that if they be honest...come to think about it not many even knew him.........still whatever floats your battleship!!!!!! tallyho!!!!

thought about watching the big square box monster but the same old crap on again I see !!!!
Laugh!!!! I think I may pop and see the bishop Xmas eve night and ask him if he as ever spoke or even seen the main geezer!!!!!!!
I doubt it...... how many ever have in the last 2k years??????
the vicars gone out on the piss... again!!!!!! he will roll back in to the ward half cut..again!!!!
Byjingo I sometimes wonder if I should have told my shrink that its a God that speaks to me and has told me who I really am?????? I wonder if they would section me then????
Cant see as they could do a lot if they all go to the churches and places of prayer and Rome......
why should they same its me that's lost it when they run the whole of society based on what the gods have told others!!!!!!!!!!gets me jolly well confused this planet ....

and the other week I was the one who was questioned about my sanity!!!!!!!!!
Why ????
Well that old star story is a load of twaddle... byjingo... it was the mother ship dropping off GeZus from Zog but that's another story.....
Now don't forget me over the Xmas Holiday..... after you ate and drunk when you come to sit on the mighty throne of dumpland just sit back and think........ ahhh old Dreadzeps may be the one who does speak the truth.......... as you shat all that cash down the pan of dreams!!!!!!!!
go on laugh i dare ya and when someone says are you alright dear shout back.....byjingo never been so good....... muhaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!

Well see ya next year I hope.... byjingo!!!!
have a great time and if you don't get what you wanted for Xmas so what!!!!!! you got the most precious gift any human could have........LIFE !!!!!!
TALLYHO!!!!!!!!!!!

Xmas Time!!!!!!!!!!

Well I say !!!!!! byjingo not long to go now then kid's....
Xmas is not far away at all ....
Whilst in the village the vicar and the Bishop thought they would dress up the village tree..all 30 foot of it!!!!!
Byjingo.... tallyho!!! what!!!!!
So up the ladder and away they went..... all was fine until darkness fell and the villager's were coming out the pub and one shouted .... don't forget the balls around the top.......
And so it was .....
the fire brigade were called to remove the vicar and Bishop from the nasty situation they had put themselves in ......
I just knew trouble would happen as they had both been drinking the old warm red wine and spice ......
Tallyho !!!!
rushed into hospital but both OK now... well not both as such, you could say, all four OK now.... Bishop still walking with a limp.......
What new ... shouts the vicar !!!!!
Byjingo like a couple of kids......

Now, how about all this stuff about money... I warned em......
just how much has been lost by all these so called professional Dealers .... Byjingo!!!!!
Still some getting over 100k bonus, whilst others have lost a load.......
Money , greed .... corruption its all here to stay .. and if your not on the ride then you ain't got a chance .... you will live in the shadow of the castle in the little village for ever .... sad !
Ohhhh yes .... paid to much in some pensions ... inland revenue up the creek ... old computer systems ... part time workers ... job share .... Byjingo and you wonder why the system ain't working!!!!!! Laff !!!! I almost filled up my incontinence pants I'm laughing so much..... silly humans.....
Talking about urine....... as you do ... over a candle lit dinner ... with ones smoking jacket on!!!! I came up with a great gift for the kids ..... all they keep going on about these days is I WANT A WEE !!!! so filled up some old wine bottles ... put the old cork on ... wrap ... and Byjove!!!!
Will be great to see the kids faces at Xmas .... what!!!!!!! I say... rather old bean!!!!!
Ahhh its a good feeling making dreams come true.........

Now .. next.... FOOD..... hmmmm!!!! turkey, goose or nut roast!!!!!!! WHAT!!!!!!
Byjingo I was told to get a life but what the heck is all this veggie stuff, now come on guys ... OK I can see what the problems are with food on this planet.... most of it ain't food .. its full of chemicals .... and you all wonder why your ill ?????
added this and added that just so it stays fresh for longer .... and talking of fresh watch out for the old trick of fresh birds ..... did you know they can defrost them .. then claim its fresh !!!!!!! look it up and see ... would I a alien mutant lie to a human????????
Back to ya nut roast ... OK no meat... OK.... but what about all the contaminated ground that you fruit and veg and nuts grow in !!!! errrr !!!! stop and think !!!! not to mention the stuff they spray for killing the pest's .... you all have teeth to eat meat ... rip, grind and chew..... not bloody teeth for eating just nuts and veg ..... Byjingo!!!!!!!!
most of the fruit is probably irradiated to make it stay fresh longer , who knows???????
Most of the stuff in the ground came from and was developed from the old war nerve gas !!!! Byjingo that's a clever move .....
whatever grows on the planet absorbs stuff to grow ... you eat it !!!!!!
Why on earth cant all that stuff stop and go back to growing and breeding foodstuff without chemicals and crap!!!!!!!

Meanwhile... cant wait till Xmas day and shouting from the kitchen ...... would you like stuffing Bishop!!!!!!!!
Now don't get stressed out and take the build up nice and slow...... I ain't gonna wish ya merry Xmas just yet... still time for more post's ....
Stay happy!!!!!!!!!!

why so hard.........

Byjingo!!!!! Why is it such a problem to find out who is ill and who is just taking the pith??????
I'm just sitting here doing my usual once a year filling in the book of questions that the works and pensions send to people on a benefit...byjingo yes !!!! I'm on a benefit.... and thank ye gods I is, I say what!!!!!!!
Incapacity benefit...... yep about 4k per year....WHY????
I'm ill with a bone and kidney problem.....
every year they send me this form ... maybe just giving me something to do.... bless em!!!!!!
Do they not stop and think its about time they sorted out the good the bad and the ugly??????
If your ill do you not see consultants???? Do you not have tests done???? do you not have results of said tests??????
Or am I just stupid and too honest for my own good ?????
I been told my problem is a metabolism problem..... and that's all they can tell me at this time just hang in and see if they come up with some help.......
So I do ... just .... what they never told me is as I'm getting older so the bloody thing gets worse....

So if I, just a mutant alien, could pick out the ones taking the pith....why cant they?????
Byjingo...... what a way to run a society....
Then today they bring out a white paper to deal with the problems..... sorry heard it all before... they will do nothing.......
Before my father died of lung cancer we tried to get him a blue badge for parking...they refused so we appealed....he died....... weeks latter they gave him the badge!!!!!!!!

I lost my driving licence for 12 month due to a brain seizure.... that was caused by doctor and pharmacist prescribing me a drug that when taken with my other medication is fatal!!!!!! so 13 months on and still no licence. so rang the powers who be and was told they had sent info to a neuro surgeon and was waiting for him to confirm ..my findings .....
tried twice to contact him they told me can you get in touch with him??? OK ... so I did within 1 hour to find out he has not been at the hospital for months and his Secretary had sent all details back to DVLA.......
So back on the phone to DVLA ... told them... they said no ... not heard a thing ... I said how come a criminal can get his licence back after 12 months , I have lost mine for 13 and still no idea when I will get it back !!!!!!!
So off they went ... came back and said under the road traffic act section BLA BLA BLA!!!!! they will issue me a cover note .... and it will start from now as they have put all the info in the system......
weeks on ...no cover note ... no licence ... but I'm back on the road ...... if I'm stopped I just hope they were telling me the truth about recorded on the system!!!!!!!!!!!

What a week!!!! blood pressure up ??? you bloody bet it is old beans!!!!!!!!!!
I hear also the troops will start to come back next year...... that's good... they were sent in on false pretence anyway...but all involved with that little story got away with it.... shits!!!!!!!
Not a lot of vicar or bishop stuff this week I'm to wound up by all the forms and questions .....
Do they think that its a laff!!!! no work !!! and the fact you have to take stupid drugs to keep you feeling well !!!! cant go for a run ... ride a bike .. do a lot of stuff that other take for granted .....
Byjingo as you can tell I'm wound up by all this stuff .......
Ohhhh Byjingo I forgot..... they asked me if I'm depressed!!!!!!!!!

21st Century ??????

Byjingo... Vicar get the Bishop to pour me a pint of vodka...no no old boy don't worry about me kidneys...I think this may get a little controversial!!!!! what!!! I say !! rather old boy.... TALLYHO!!!! UP AN AT EM!!!!!!!!
21 st Century ? living in a democracy ?
Ohhh!!!! Please who you trying to kid ????????

Byjove where do I start with this one...... Hold on .. let me just check me blood pressure........
Right lets go......
Watched the good old Queens speech, now I am a royalist and I do realise how much the tradition and pomp brings into the country....... but for ya gods sake , with so much stuff going on in this .. the 21st century .. 2008 coming to an end soon, is it not time for all this type of stuff to be put in the history books ?????
what a jolly good show it was ... but hang on ... people out in the streets loosing homes, homeless people ... drug and crime problems ... people loosing jobs (again) ..... NHS , Education , all still in a mess and to make it even worse kids living in poverty in the UK......
Political ? no I'm not going down that road... the political structure of the UK is still in the 18th century.... Laws and traditions .... People voted in to a position to speak on behalf of the rest of us.....
Do they heck!!!!!!!!

byjingo!!!!! one even gets arrested for letting us know how people who should not even be in this country, let alone working are doing so for the government and crown !!!!!!!!!!!!
and this is probably the tip of an ice burg.....

They sit and shout at each other , trying to out do one and other, ye gods what a mess this all is indeed........
another pint please vicar.....
Criminal cases go to courts and people swear on a book to tell the truth ... yet ... the defence are paid to get the criminal off !!!! what!!!! Quick Bishop roll a joint sod the paranoia........
Religious people .... no particular one .... prosecuted for all sorts of sick crimes ......
judges same thing ... caught in the loo with others !!!!!!!!

Why does all this go on year after year ... time after time ....
They promise we will do this and do that....... they do nothing .... lets face .. ain't this the truth????

OK I ain't an educated alien .... no university... no private boarding school .... just a alien off the galaxy trail .....
So if I see these goings on and think well you could do this to stop it or try this.....then why don't the powers who be do it ??????
Many of you ..well OK all three of us ... I bet think the same , or am I the only one who does... I don't think so!!!!!!

the Bishops going to get another breast enlargement done ... the last one went bang and he had that done in a local village clinic in the Amazon jungle but when thing went wrong he then used the NHS to put it all back in place.... I told him ... what a cheek people are waiting for help that have problems with say cancer.... why should you fill a bed just because you wanted bigger breast and got it done cheap... one packet of mints and a couple of quid ... but as soon as a problem ohhh !!! dear me !!! I just nip in to local NHS.........
Just wait till he gets back.... I'm going to burst em again when he sleeps........

And getting back to 21st century a majority believe in gods !!!!!! what!!!!!! ohhh get a life guys...I bet loads have never even read a book!!!!!!!
So if this is the so called 21st century.... don't it make ya laff!!!!!!!
or maybe cry ??????????????

In for the kill!!!!!!!!!!!

Help!!! save the planet earth....... ya avin a laugh ain't ya?
Byjingo .. what are they all going on about ? In the 1970's we were told "put ya winter draws on the big freeze is coming" or words to that effect...... Did it come ? .... Did it my arse!!!!!!
Lookout the world is getting warmer....... oh right I can take off these fekin winter underpants Ive had on since the 70's then........
Now just hold on !!!!! stop the planet I'm jumping off!!!!
How long has the old planet been here..... well according to man anyhow..... ahhh that's the point you see according to man !!!!!
How long have the humans kept weather records ?
How many times has the planet heated up before ? well man says ..... SHUT UP!!!!!! YOU AIN'T BIN AROUND THAT LONG...AND EVEN YA CARBON DATING AIN'T 100% !!!!!!!!!

Don't they get right up ya nose... byjingo... well they do mine but then again its rather a large nose .....
I predict that the world will burn up one day that's a 100% guarantee... the sun will just burn out and bang we gone !!!!! puff!!!!!!! no no vicar I ain't talking about you again !!! byjove some people so bloody paranoid .... who said that !!!! me!!!!! never !!!!!!

Now old Gordon Blown is planing to save the world from economic disaster ... that's interesting ... considering we have never been in this situation before.... hmmmmmm and was it not that political party that claimed NO BOOM NO BUST...... well how about WE ALL IN THE SHI*.......
today they put up taxes ...ahhhh but after the next election ...jolly clever move what!!!!!
When they wanted electing they swore it would not be done..... hold on they ain't done it ... its after the next election ... ohhhh !!!! I see!!!!!!! that don't come under ya promises you gave when we elected ya does it ... clever !!!
VAT down from 17.5% to 15% wow that will help us all ...... byjingo..... hope my savings are safe ????
they only will guarantee £50k ... hmmmm shows how much confidence they have in the strategy they are using.. what ????
Thinking about my income per year is £4k and I'm grateful for that it could be zero .... so what the fek am I on about savings !!!!! byjingo these tabs from Matron sure do taste good.........
Well if one thing even help for small business ..... oh yes sure !!! fuel goes up ... goods go up ??
Who are these people trying to kid ?
Byjove somehow I think Matron must have given me the wrong medication today or maybe I'm still sleeping and nobody would ever dream up this type of get out plan.... would they ?

We all , well OK most...well OK a few these days vote them in to speak on our behalf....and they promise they will.... till they take one step over the step at Westminster and your just history only thing they worried about is new houses, cars and pension.... us just fen for yourself old chaps!!!!!

They have no intention in helping us first ... and lock me up in the tower and throw away the key...how the truth does hurt and leave a feeling of guilt no no no not leave a feeling of guilt ..they will take that with them for the rest of the days.......... as do many people who know they have done wrong!!!!!!!

Byjango...calm down you old trout!!!!!

Takes a deep breath, ahhhhhh!!!!!!!
Missed a post last week old chaps .. I was rather wound up with the news about that poor kid that lost his life to some rather called people , who..are classed as humans!!!!!
I wrote a lot of stuff about it but when re-read had turned myself into a animal who was out to take revenge for the loss of all the other kids also who as we speak are getting the similar treatment and its all going on under our noses.......
It all became rather heavy and in plain language spelt out what should be done..... but anyone reading it already knows what should be done...... and so I shall not be going down that road.......

Another deep breath...Ahhhhhh!!! that's better....
Life on old mother earth don't really change it's the humans living here that create all the troubles..Byjingo sometimes I think ...well thank ya gods I ain't human.....life in a ward ain't that bad even if its just all in ya head!!!! what!!! rather old bean.....
Right ... Banks and money ...well well ....everyone takes the cash when it's given to them on a plate even when ya know ya have to pay it back ten times over.....so what do the people who run it all say..... well we gave too much away too easy and this free for all of cash suddenly runs dry...and bingo!!!! no cash, no cash flow, no business...... BUSTED!!!!!!!!
Ah but the wise ones now have a plan.... give cash to create spending!!!!!! Hang on a tick byjingo..
is that not how the whole mess started??????????

Crazy ain't it ????
Byjingo I'm still waiting to get my human driving licence back from the powers who be.. no, no, no not a human driving in that sense...me car .....
I had to give it up as the old brain seizure I had 12 months ago almost killed me... had all the test done....cant find much...well !!! that's not a surprise is it!!!!
It was not until I did my own research into what happened to me on that day that I found out ...and its common knowledge, apart from the people who should know.. IE doctors, consultants and the guys who dish out all the drugs and medication ...TO MAKE YOU BETTER...
Byjingo ohhhh they made me almost 100% better to the point where I would feel no more pain....
They had changed my medication, well a pain killer and not checked the fact that when taken with other medication that I am on only can be fatal, kill, smoke ya out..put ya lights out!!!!!!
not until I told them and they looked it up....ahhhh!!! yes it could well be that they said....
Oh that's OK then I ain't gonna take that drug again!!!!! er!!!! hold on!!!! it almost killed me, thanks to the good old paramedics they kept me alive........ did anyone say sorry ?

Byjingo me and the NHS I could write a book about all the episodes... from cleaners , cleaning a ward and toilets with the same mop and bucket to the consultant performing an operation , and letting his next in command av a go at this one routine and leaving a small fragment of metal from the forceps they broke inside my kidney..... did I ever sue em ?? no .....
Sue em everyone shouted... byjingo easy for them to say .. they ain't the one who keeps on going in and out of the butchers shop in the first place ....
Me got an axe to grind ? never .... I have found out the hard way since the age of 23 .. now 50..
brittle bones, kidney stones. .... calcification of prostrate....
then you see the endocrinology squad who after years tell you they cant pin point the problem but stay in touch with them so they can monitor the problems ...
All this and more has gone on ...... but at the end of the day, I'm still here that poor kid and many others are not ..... what justice do the victims get ? .... In my eyes I can't see any ... and its a sorry fact of human life that because of no justice it will happen time and time again, sadly.
I hope the next post puts a smile on ya face and not a tear in ya eye for them kids but never forget em guys ;-0

Meanwhile back at the clinic!!!!!

Hmmmm!!!! more tea vicar....
pass the scones Bishop, what!!!! rather old bean!!!
Byjingo why is this planet obsessed with colour of skin?????? Back on old planet Zog and come to think of it on Jingo now we are all colours, but we don't even take any notice of it!!!
Whats the big deal with all this black and white stuff?????
The guy is a human who will help run the U.S.A. Whats with the first black man this and white man that.....all seems strange to me when all the media and others preach how this thing you call racism should be wiped off the earth...then they go around saying black man, white man....
What the heck!!!!! It does not matter what your colour is ... just get on with sorting out this crazy planet......
Byjingo!!!! until you humans sort out all these chips on ya shoulders you will never get anywhere.........hypocrite's comes to my mind!!!! Just get on with life in peace...

Still, all this falls on deaf ears ... it's a shame this could be a place to live in peace and a global place that everyone has enough food and comfortable life style.....
O.K so you would still get the nutcase that want trouble or wants more cash than anyone else (greed).... its in a human instinct that's been with you for 1000's of years... and I hate to say it but one thinks it will never go away.......

Now , all was quite on the ward last night...Matron, she be the one who must be obeyed.. was on her usual walk abouts.... not a sound could be heard, which is unusual.
Suddenly from out of the dark of the night came a sound that I had never came across.....
was it a leak from the roof ? No... its not raining...
drip drip splosh!!!! Ohhh no my incontinence pants!!!!!!
Quick as a flash I got out me Dunlop tyre repair tin.... Byjingo that was a close shave,what!!!!
Then crash!!!! Bang!!!!! What the!!!!!
The lights went on and on the floor lay Matron....not happy .... not with a smile on her face.....
she had crept up on me to check I was asleep and slipped on the puddle under and around the bed......
Now I'm in for it I thought to myself....
More blue sweets for me today I thought...... Matron is a rather large human with very long hair.. and that's just from under her armpits... her beard is quite short... her glasses thick...
Ohhh !!! my!!!!! will I wake up and its all a dream????
Or am I in for a week on the sweets and injections.... not to mention the 250 volt 55 amp cable attached to me head again.....
Still this is a crazy planet so anything goes .... and who care's anyway.... not many , me thinks!!!!

MONEY BAHHHH!!!!!!!!!

Byjingo ,what...country's here on little ole planet earth going bust????
I say , what..... hedge funds going bust...hmmmmmm what about pensions?? " Yes " shouts the vicar.......
Not looking good for the next year or so here on planet earth with this Global money problem.... ahhhh but its OK for the one 's who have a fortune, well maybe not if they all go bust....
what a mess this is getting!!!!!! never had this thing happen on Zog...... but then again we not driven by greed and we ain't human.......
Still it will sort itself out in the end .... funny but I did talk about how a high percentage of humans really dont know what is going on around them... local council election and they think their vote will change the government!!!!! ehhhh !!! ho!!! that's always been that way and probably always will...
OK we all need money to pay bills and to eat and put the old shirt on ya back, what.... but its all gone too far now with all the luxury items one thinks that you should have as just part of normal life .... cant see the fact that buying or needing the items, which are marketed in a way to make you believe that you do need that item , is making shed loads of cash for others ... OK that's what a business is about , making money at the end of the day but when you see people in so called free speech and democratic society's with no cash for heating and food... somethings wrong I say....
On comes the add on TV to ask you to pay cash towards people starving in another country.. when at the end of the day the people in that country don't help or sort out the problems themselves!!! How crazy is that!!!! look in your own backyard and just see how many are struggling to live a comfortable life or even existence in your own country's!!!!!
Byjingo this planet sure is strange!!!
Yes its a shame that all this poverty is still going on everywhere indeed... "I will say a prayer" Say's the vicar... hmmmmmm I'm sure that will solve the worlds problems, what!!!!! tallyho!

Society , well as the one we had on Zog , was not a place where we all shared stuff and nobody became rich and famous byjingo no!!!! you must create wealth but without the greed was our motto on Zog..
at one point on Zog when the last of the food supplies had gone all the Zonk's in the bank could not save a life.... byjingo if you ever try eating a Zonk mind your teeth...although you can chew it for hours but no nutrition at all .... so to dust ya go!!!!!!!
Another thing is ... why blame others all the time for your own misdoings..own up and take it on the chin ... that way you learn ....
On the other hand , go to war over a problem... tallyho!!! that will create smokescreens and create more jobs in the rebuilding of a planet.... BUT!!!! I bet 99.9% of the poor old chaps and ladies who live on the planet don't want wars they just want to live a life with some comfort...
But nobody in control ever asks them ... after all living in peace ain't gonna create wealth on its own..... or would it?????????????

Common sense???

Ahhh !! another day on planet earth, more space junk on the way to the moon.
Looking for water!!! Byjingo that could be one long journey for a newspaper and a Mars bar.... I could tel em they ain't going to get much water on the moon old chaps, what!!!!
" Ahhhh!! but they are going to map the surface also", I'm told by the Bishop... "Ohhh well that makes it all worth while I'm sure!!!"
I was told a little thing the other night by the vicar , we had just finished our last supper, well that's what old Bish and Vic call it......
As we sat crossed legs on the mat he told me about a little kitten that was sleeping in the corner of a room when suddenly he was woken by the sound of a bowl of milk being put down on the floor.... up the kitten gets and goes and drinks the milk.... once its gone back to his warm place and falls asleep again...
"Byjingo" I shouts out!!! with that the Bishop spilt his gin and tonic, " sorry Bish" ... what a daft kitten I thought... how come he just woke up and walked over, drank the milk then fell asleep again????
Byjove!! Why not walk up to the bowl and think ... hold on what is this?? where did it come from??? who put it on the floor???? whats in it????? whats it made of???????is it safe????????
But no!!!!! He drank , he slept and that became his life....well that was until he went outside and got hit by a steam roller!!!!!!!! nine lives.....don't think so old bean...

So if anyone is reading this ....which one are you similar to????????????????
It seems to me after spending 50 years or so here on and off!! That a good 80% or even more humans don't really know what is going on around them but then again do they need too???

The other night, whilst fixing my external micro brain transmitter on the kitchen table, I looked at the Vicars nut's...... "Byjingo!! how long have you had those" I asked him.... "All my life old bean " he said.... "no, no, no, those Brazil nuts on the table".... "ohhhh those "... "A few months now, got em the same time as those oranges"......
"Ahhhh!!!" said I.... "I forgot a lot of your food stuff is irradiated" ... "yep" he said" but who cares"... hmmmmmm!!!! only the ones that produce your food stuffs and want a longer shelf life I suppose......
Byjingo in the old days we never did that sort of thing or added chemicals to our food...strange how time changes and thoughts change also.....
"Who cares that the world is flat".....shouted the Bishop "its not" I said..." ohhh I thought it was ", "me too "shouted the Vicar...... ahhhhhhh boy has this planet got a lot to learn.......

Time ..faster than light!!!

Byjingo!! once a week or every day! what!!!!!
The days and weeks and months fly past me!!! When your young the oldies say "just you see how time fly's when you get older" yep!! they were the wise old ones... indeed, it does......

I did warn you that the format was going to be a little different!!!
So where was we.. ahhhh yes! Tallyho!!! The old planet Zog was a great place to live but while here on earth I was watching Deal or No Deal ... sad old fart that I is... I was astonished , no shocked to hear the old Noel Edmund talk about planet Zog !!!! Quick jump in the craft and tell the others to pack the bags i thought..
Got on to the old steam valve dio-transceiver .... CQ CQ CQ DX ... CQ CQ CQ DX ... Ohhhh bugger that its faster to fly in person , so off I went.
Byjove when arriving at Zog they all fell about laughing .How news travels fast in the outer Galaxy.
So back to earth I fell!!! Bump!!!! Ouchhhhhh!!!
"Vicar , if I told you once I aint gona tell ya again , stop putting those vodka bottles on my chair"

With all the Zogonian Cash problems you could hardly get any change from a Zonk. the value was dropping fast. So were the Bank's Byjingo Byjove , even they were going bust . With that a few of us decided it was time to leave our beloved Zog and find another place to live... That's when we came across Planet Jingo... well never had a name and I suggested Jingo and the rest was history so to speak.. to coin a phrase ..
When your rulers tell you they will only guarantee 50000 Zonk of your savings it does make one stop and think ... hold on how much confidence do they have in the banking system!!!!!
The old Zogonian shares was another alarm bell, "lookout vicar another stuka!!!"...
The market falls everyone sells..... STOP THINK!!!! if they sell .. who is buying???????
What a way to make a planet go round in the 21st century ......

Still the end of the day came for all those left on Zog .. Too busy worrying about stocks shares , cash.... what about the Zogonians the ones who had no Zonk's the buy a bit of bread ... ahhhh no they will be here for all time so why sort them out... as long as we make cash and our life style gets better sod em!!!!!
Well , did they have a problem , whilst worrying about the finance litte did they know .. and I had warned em not to take life for granted, the old Zogonian Sun had shone its last ray of radiation!!!! Flash !!! Bang !!!! Whoooshhh!!!! out it went... shone for millions of years but as we all know all good things must end!! So those left on Zog ain't got a bean, in fact they don't even have a life never mind worrying about all the cash..... Sun gone, Zog gone....

Meanwhile , life on Jingo goes on we only have one small problem ... well a rather large problem Byjingo!!! what!!! I say!!
When we left Zog looking for another world we forgot to bring the female of our specious with us... Oh well !! we now building more craft and will be invading other planets looking for mates...
so keep looking over ya shoulder ..you never know!!!
Must dash the vicar has his fly caught in the Bishops frock again.... I keep telling em wait till you get to the river before putting ya fly on the line!!!!
More salmon Vicar!!!!!!!

Once a day or once a week?

Byjingo..I can't make up this small mind of mine to do a post once a day or a week!!!!
I say!!! I thought Zog had its problems but planet earth, well can't do much about that old chaps...
The vicar has gone out with the Bishop something about removing a foreign body... all will be revealed as time tick's on.
I found out I was sent to earth to look for a long lost relative called Gezuss, who came here over two thousand years ago.... he was a little bit strange also.. I still have not found him but found a lot of info about him and his exploits, again I will tell more as the blog progresses.

Back on Zog when it was in full swing and everyone was spending like there was no tomorrow, raising cash was no problem , the Bank's were just giving it away and the old financial advisers would get whatever amount you needed..byjingo .. what!!! They would they got all the commission!!!!!
Still as the banks went down one by one ... all because the Zogonian government would not guarantee savings unlimited .. silly old buggas.. everyone took out the cash and stored it in the old bread bins......
So down went some of the banks, the others were taken over but that never worked as the government went bankrupt......well byjove we thought sod this and off we went to find a new home.... and so planet Jingo was born.
A few weeks latter the old sun that provided Zog with light and heat decided to burn out and with it went Zog... The old Zogonians never seen that one coming!!!!! Told em not to take it all for granted but they never did listen to me.

As for the vicar he lives with the Bishop in the same clinic as me and the rest of the crew .... overseen by Matron... big lady, hair down to her elbows and that's just the hair under her arms!!!
no nonsense taken by Matron... old school .. but more about her later on...
Now .. where was I... ahhhh yes I remember!!! tallyho!!! "lookout vicar another stuka"......
Do I add a bit here everyday or every week... I have so much rubbish to ramble on about but the old medication does take effect and cause a little confusion .. but for me to get confused is not a very difficult situation to find myself in .... now where did I put the vicars vodka bottle!!!!

Well must dash, I need to get me propulsion crystal fixed on me craft!!!! one other thing...byjingo!!! try not to make me laugh as I use a pair of Zogonian incontinence pants mark 11.....they will only hold about 25 litres then burst so I have asked the professor to design a new pair so that this problem does not occur...what!!!! rather old bean!!!! nothing worse than avin a good laugh and ya pants explode!!!

Day One

Byjingo!!! Where do I start!!! well I ain't going to be in the same format as everyone else that's for sure.
I'm a 50 year old Zogonian..sent from Zog as I was a little different from the rest..well ok I'm a mutant alien...although I do look human but not on the same wavelength as most.
I'm into photography and thinking out of the box if possible. Based in the U.K.....

Well start at the start as they say... born in 1958 .. father was in the Royal Corp Of Signals...the good old M.O.D. sent him to Japan ...Hiroshima for some rest and recoup for a few days... byjingo that was one hell of a Holiday camp in those days, what!!!! I say ...rather old boy!!
Anyway I have been ill for a number of years now with low bone density problems and producing Kidney stones most of the time.... Byjove if I could polish em up and set into rings I would be rich today for sure.
As time ticked past me whilst not feeling too good and unable to work I discovered through brain transmissions that I am really a alien mutant from a planet called Zog!!!!
But because of problems on Zog a few of us left the planet and found a planet just up the road from Zog that was uninhabited, so we have now taken it over and named it Planet Jingo.

Now I'm starting to get a little lost with the plot here so may take some time out but as an Zogonian we do seem to wonder off subject quite a lot of the time..... and our English is not the worlds best but us Zogonians believe that you should just say it how it is and no beating around the bush..... Ahhh!!!! my garden but that's another thing.....

Hopefully you will be able to follow my little Blog even though we may all end up barking up the wrong dingo.... I have been told that some think I'm nut's but ehhh ho!! each to ya own I say,what! rather old bean ... more tea vicar...
As time tick's on you will understand or maybe not !!! what I'm going on about and may raise a smile on ya face!